I need a title please

Here’s a short story. Can you give me a title?

Untitled Story

Janine wasn’t sure when she first started to go mad. It was either the cut carrots calling out, or the parsnips pleading as the oven heated up to roasting speed. She’d been a vegetarian for decades. A vegan ever since her wedding to Tom, the variety artist. But although he joked that while “meat is murder, but fish is justifiable homicide” he had honoured her wishes to not eat dead animal for the unhappiness of their short marriage.

Janine knew Tom had married for money, but he had always quietly respected her “life choices.” (She imagined him bunny earring the quotes.) and had foresworn the flesh.

So, when the carrots anguished their burns as they boiled, then bathed in butter, and the parsnips screamed to not be ovened, she snapped.

The potatoes remained half mashed, bewailing their half dead. She could not eat. Tom took over, and was sympathy itself. No, he had not heard voices. It must be all the stress of recent days getting to her, mustn’t it? Would she like soup, or a smoothie? Janine could only picture fruit screaming bloody in the blender.

When the police came at the insistence of the ambulance crew, who could not believe a grown woman would willingly starve herself in her own home, the Detective Sergeant was non-plussed, especially when his boss insisted they arrest the husband, even though there was no evidence of incarceration or abuse. The Inspector looked his underling in the eye. “He’s a ventriloquist, Danny. Now book him!”

Why UK Gov removing the Feed in Tariff is a bad idea

While it would be better to use something like a Tesla Powerwall, to store excess electricity for the afternoon peak and nighttime usage, and only having enough panels to charge it and cover daytime requirements, the payback for extra generation is a factor. A solar household typically gets a lot less per Kilowatt Hour (KWh) than we pay for incoming energy – usually under <4p for outgoing but ~15p for incoming KWh - but the Feed in Tariff does factor into the economics of getting/maintaining micro generation of electricity. If you are regularly creating excess energy you’ve probably paid for too many panels, which would extend the time to the break even point, but not being paid anything for this extra electricity will force households to go ‘off grid’ which will affect the bottom line of the Energy Companies, and Government taxation, rather than discourage home owners from going Solar. With the advent of electric cars, we’ll all be looking to the Sun for our future. Please consider signing the petition against removing the Feed in Tariff here: https://secure.greenpeace.org.uk/page/s/stop-the-solar-attack

Dr. Mike Reddy