Lillie McFerrin hosts a Five Sentence Fiction competition on her blog. This week’s theme is Flowers.

Here is my entry, which is inspired by the picture this week:

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“On the saying of something or other with something that is pretty much already dead but still smells nice for a while at least”
by Dr. Mike Reddy (@doctormikereddy)

“I don’t get it,” he said, rocking back and forth and chewing on his knuckle, “Why is it nice to kill something, then give it to someone?”

He rarely did ‘get it’ but this was knuckle-chewingly bad, so I put down my work things and turned to pay him my full attention.

“Someone spends a lot of time and effort, Oh and water and sun, although the Sun is free I guess, and the plants grow, and then they are killed, yes?” he asked in one hasty breath.

“Well, people like the colours and the smell and the fact that someone took the trouble to bring them a gift,” I explained.

“So, people like the fact that these bright smelly things were killed just for them!” he said sadly, but at least the rocking had stopped for now.

Lillie McFerrin hosts a Five Sentence Fiction competition on her blog. This week’s theme is Beauty.

Here is my R Rated entry, which is inspired by the picture this week:

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“Upon Reflection”
by Dr. Mike Reddy (@doctormikereddy)

“It was Sir Thomas Overbury, in 1613, who first said ‘All the carnal beauty of my wife is but skin deep.’,” I informed her matter-of-factly, “but it’s often misquoted, implying all beauty is superficial.”

The bitch didn’t seem that impressed, as she wouldn’t meet my gaze, preferring to stare at the knife.

“You see,” I whispered, lifting her head so she had no choice but to look at the reflection in the mirror, “I need to know that you are beautiful on the inside too, worthy of my affections.”

“There’s only one way to do that,” she sighed defiantly, “You’d have to skin me”¦”

“That WAS my first thought,” I admitted, playing with the rather blunt blade, “But upon reflection that would get messy, so we need an alternative.”

Lillie McFerrin hosts a Five Sentence Fiction competition on her blog. This week’s theme is Thunder.

Here is my entry, which is metaphorically inspired by the stormy picture this week:

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“Shakubuku”
by Dr. Mike Reddy (@doctormikereddy)

Herman “Lightning Rod” Humphries was, by all accounts, the record holder for surviving the most lighting strikes. It had certainly had an effect on him, neighbours and friends would sympathetically share, when sure he was not in earshot.

“It’s just part of the job,” he would explain shyly, “Being a park warden and all.”

When asked if he minded the risk Herman responded, “Life is a risk, but it doesn’t stop you living before you die, like lightning comes before thunder.

“Better than dying before you live!” he would say, if people stuck around long enough,”Cos them that gets hit don’t hear the thunder.”

Lillie McFerrin hosts a Five Sentence Fiction competition on her blog. This week’s theme is Travel.

Here is my entry, which is heavily inspired by the Jungfrau Railway in the picture this week:

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“Maiden Ticket”
by Dr. Mike Reddy (@doctormikereddy)
We pulled out of Kleine Scheidegg, and as we passed Eigerwand and Eismeer stations, I settled down to a predictable but fascinating nostalgic narrative from the old lady opposite, who claimed in broken English that she had been on the maiden trip in 1912.

“Darling Adolf, who the railway for me built and named, it to go to the summit wanted, with an elevator to make the magic stronger, but the Great War to that saw.

I the first ever passenger to arrive at the summit was, with a ‘maiden ticket’ that free passage to Jungfrau entitles for as long as me coming enjoy unchanged to this place continue to, which Adolf his TRUE gift was, you see.”

At the 3454m summit, the highest in the World according to my guidebook, the jungfrau, the now young woman who stepped off the train, turned to me, put a finger to her lips to seal me in the secret, then blew a kiss before hopping straight on the downward train, stopping only to purchase a return fare from the rather surprised conductor. This last action confused me, as I made my slower way out of the compartment, until I saw the tattered ticket sticking out of my guidebook, with a little note that read “For as long as you can, my dear, to enjoy, but no longer.”

Lillie McFerrin hosts a Five Sentence Fiction competition on her blog. This week’s theme is Learning.

Here is my entry:

“A Flower for Algy”

Dei sei dat wen du oprashun is dun ai wul be abel to raez mi hand an get pikd to anseh keschons to.

Mi hed hurts todaey, but I got picked and gaev gave the riteght answer to Miss Kinnian s qukestion.

Alice is pleased with my progress, but the exponential rate of development frightens her, unless it is just an excuse for suppressing the feelings we have for each other.

Alice, being intelligent teaches you a lot, but lerning, I hav fownd, taks hart not hed, and aim sad dat it tuk so long to no how ai felt abowt yoo bekos ai no its to laet.

Dei sei de oprashun werkd fo a waeil but it dint stik, so Miss Kinnian is sad to and kries wen shi seez mi.

Lillie McFerrin hosts a Five Sentence Fiction competition on her blog. This week’s theme is Bliss.

Here is my entry:

“Look Out The Window”

‘Bliss’, the Internet search engine, Google, showed her, was a well cut lawn stretching towards the horizon, under a fluffy cloud peppered blue sky.

She spent far too much time staring at computer screens. Her compulsory ‘Health and Safety: Use of Visual Display’ training told her she should take an eyestrain break.

Like she had time to look out the window for ten to twenty minutes every hour? That was when she had the idea for lookouthewindow.com, but (Damn it!) someone had beaten her to it again.

Lillie McFerrin hosts a Five Sentence Fiction competition on her blog. This week’s theme is Limitless.

Here is my entry:

Tiredness was to blame for the accident, but Paul Berry’s helmet reduced his injury to mere concussion as he left the plane for the last time.

The 500th consecutive jump would have given Berry a world record, if only he had fallen down instead of up.

Paul couldn’t believe it when he woke floating on a cloud, standing in the dock accused of breaking the Law of Gravity.

The surreal trial ended, given the overwhelming evidence against him, with the judge donning the black cap.

So, when Berry woke up the second time, sentence was quickly served.

Lillie McFerrin hosts a Five Sentence Fiction competition on her blog. This week’s theme is Wisdom.

Here is my first ever attempt at one:

Who would have thought a dentist, all dentists in fact, would be the centre of the World’s largest Satanic conspiracy?

It’s safe to tell you, now you are restrained and the anaesthetic is working, so there is no point in struggling.

You see, God does nothing without a purpose, including giving you a set of apparently useless teeth, seats for your soul.

I simply extract them, hand them over to this useful little demon here, and you won’t even remember a thing.

They’re not called Wisdom Teeth for nothing, you know”¦