Sunnyside Chronicle (Saturday morning Edition)

News
Redmore Killer still at large
Sheriff Jonah Johnson (44) repeated assurances that the killer of Rev Redmore was “almost certainly a stranger to our community who has likely already absconded.”

The crime, a most vicious and unprovoked attack in his home two weeks ago, appears to have been an opportunistic robbery gone horribly wrong. “There were signs of several struggles” Johnson confirmed, “but DNA samples sent off to Innsmouth a fortnight ago have been inconclusive.”

Events
Sunnyside Fete
This Saturday sees a return of the Sunnyside School Fete, a welcome diversion in recent troubled times.

The Sunnyside Fete has a long tradition, reaching back centuries, possibly pre-dating the town’s founding fathers. The settlement was an ancient centre of trade, being at the natural ford of the Manuxet River immortalised in Native American myth and legend.

While the fete’s return may not herald a welcome turning point in the fortunes of this benighted town, it can be considered a glimpse of hope. It was cancelled 3 years ago as a mark of respect after the unexpected sad departure of the Rev. J.S. Samuels, who died of a sudden stroke on the eve of festivities.

Since then, the interim acting head, Mr Albus Smith, didn’t feel it appropriate to reinstate the proceedings. When asked about its return to Sunnyside’s rather sparse social calendar, Mr Smith referred us to the Board of Governors. “New brooms sweep clean. It will be good to return to teaching Chemistry.”

Albus was, no doubt, referring to news that he will be stepping down as acting head, to be replaced by a ‘Ministey approved’ external candidate, Ruth Less (34), who this reporter has confirmed as being responsible for the welcome resurrection of the Sunnyside Fete. “A fete is not worse than Death” she is reported to have quipped to the Board and local Councillors recently.

Obituaries
Reverend Charles Redmore (67)
It is wrong to speak ill of the dead. A line we will all have heard often over the last few decades that our faithful vicar presided over funerals in Sunnyside. Redmore had an infinite capacity to see the Good side in all of us. This, more than the stirring sermons spoken to far too few, will most be missed.

Charles – Redmore disliked formality and titles – was the pinnacle of ‘good shepherd’. Perhaps it was this that was his downfall. A violent attack in his own home has shaken the faith of this reporter, as well as the whole town. The ongoing police investigation has done little to settle a troubled parish, although the Sheriff remains cautiously optimistic of a conviction.

Redmore was not liked, but he was respected. His resignation from the Board of Governors of Sunnyside Primary over ‘differences in direction’, including appointing an external candidate as Head Teacher, caused much controversy. The vicar’s regular outspoken defence of the Youth of the town was often cited as divisive, splitting Sunnyside in two as to how to deal with its very real social problems.

Father Redmore leaves behind a troubled town, no less so because of the manner of his sudden departure. His replacement, Father Malcolm Malcolm, will begin this week. Let us hope he has more imagination than his parents naming ability.

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